Lamont and Dude Further Discuss Relocation

“So did you decide, Dude? Are you moving to the mountains?”

“No. I don’t think I’m the same being I was whenever that was and I lived in the mountains.”

“No more enlightenment on the species identification, then. Oh well. We can’t be expected to remember everything.”

“I think you were right. I was some kind of deer. I did a little research on those creatures and it’s not a bad life unless winter is hard and long.”

“Yeah, vegetarians have a greater dependency on climate than carnivores. If anything, bad seasons are good for carnivores.”

“I hadn’t thought of that.”

“Oh well. That’s why I always say, if you can’t come back as an ancient oak tree, come back as a carnivore.”

“Like there’s a lot of choice.”

“True enough, Dude. So you heading out? Looks like some pretty nice sets.”

“Yep. You coming, pardner?”

“Not today. You just git along little doggy. I’ll catch you later.”

Lamont and Dude are characters I came up with a few years ago. They have the uncanny ability to remember many of their past incarnations which gives them an unusual perspective on life, the universe and everything.

Lamont and Dude Discuss Relocation

“Howdy, pardner.”

“What? You channeling Gunsmoke or something?”

“Naw, just, I don’t know. Do you ever think of moving away from the beach, Lamont?”

“It’s all one place, Dude.”

“Yeah, but different phenomena. You yourself liked the British-Oak-Tree-Druids-Everywhere iteration best. This is a long way from that. Whoa, did you see that?”

“Every morning with my coffee. Swings past on skates wearing some fancy thong or another. On holidays he/she ‘dresses’ in, I dunno’, a semi-costume.”

“I do like the shades.”

“Yeah. Probably kept those safe since the 70s. You haven’t see him/her before?”

“Nope. I guess I’m usually out there this time of day. Really flat today.”

“You mean him/her or the ocean?”

“You’re so funny.”

“So where would you live if not here?”

“I dunno. Have you ever lived in the mountains? I did once. I remember it as harsh but beautiful.”

“When did you live in the mountains?”

“I’m not sure exactly. I’m not clear on what I was, but I did a lot of walking with others like me. We spent most of our time walking. I had four legs, I remember that.”

“Well that narrows things down. You were probably an ungulate. Do you remember what you ate?”

“Give me a minute.”

“It’s simple, Dude. Did you eat meat or trees? That’ll tell us everything. How was your hearing? Eyesight? Did you run away or toward?”

“What are you doing? Trying out the DSM sorter?”

“What?”

“You know. Distant Somatic Memory sorter.”

“It’s not that funny, Dude. I know you think my idea is dumb…”

“No, the idea is good. The acronym has been used, though.”

“So did you run toward or from?”

“Seems like I did a lot of leaping.”

“Well, then you weren’t a bison. We can check that off. Are you sure your not just remembering the halcyon days of your Smilodon iteration?”

“No mountains, you know that. You were there.”

“OK. Seriously, I think the big question is did you run toward or away. Away, you were prey. Toward, you were predator.”

“Duh.”

“Well, which was it?”

“I had really good hearing.”

“Not helpful. What did you listen for?”

“No memory, Lamont. Sorry.”

“OK, so when you were walking was this a seasonal thing? Like in summer did you go up hill and in fall down hill?”

“Oh, definitely down hill in fall.”

“Did you travel with others or alone?”

“There were others.”

“Prey. Well, I’ll leave it to you to figure out what kind, but I’d say you were a deer. Maybe you didn’t live long enough to have a good memory of the experience. You know. Wolves.”

“What difference does it make what I was? The question is what about blowing this pop stand and going to live in the mountains?”

“Why? You won’t have anything like THAT to look at.”

“Good god. Are those Easter Bunny ears?”


Lamont and Dude are characters I came up with a few years ago. They have the uncanny ability to remember many of their past incarnations. This gives them an unusual perspective on life, the universe and everything.

https://ragtagcommunity.wordpress.com/2019/01/06/rdp-sunday-fill-in-partner/

Lamont and Dude Ponder Love

“Happy New Year, Lamont!”

“Yappy Gnu Ears to Ewe!”

“Some party last night.”

“Yeah. I’ve lived too long for that shit any more, Dude. Next time, don’t ask me.”

“Ask you? I didn’t ask you. You were already here.”

“That seems to be the story of my lives. Did you remember dressing up in your Smilodon suit and asking Sweet Cheeks next door to marry you?”

“She might’ve said ‘Yes’ if you hadn’t told her that the last time she and I were married I killed her.”

“It’s true. ‘Predestined enemies’ the Chinese call it, people you fall in love with over multiple incarnations. If you remember that, you could anticipate these problems.”

“Why did I kill her last time?”

“I don’t know if it was last time. But you killed her for food.”

“Seriously?”

“You were very serious about it. Life had gotten pretty harsh. She would’ve killed and eaten you. You just got there first. It’s easy in these human iterations to forget what it is like being a wild animal.”

“What were we? I don’t remember this at all. Preying mantids? Tiger sharks?”

“Rabbits.”

“Rabbits???”

~~~

Lamont and Dude are characters I came up with a few years ago. They have the uncanny ability to remember many of their previous incarnations which gives them a unique perspective on life, the universe and everything.




Lamont and Dude Discuss Tradition

“Is it over yet? Can I come out?”

“What’s your problem with the holidays, Lamont?”

“Well, there’s all the kitsch, the expectations, the repetition of what we did last year…”

“That’s called ‘tradition’ Lamont.”

“…the illusion that it’s all somehow different and the world is going to change as a result of it. It doesn’t work that way. How’s the world going to change by doing the same thing you did last year and the year before? Show me ONE animal who celebrates ‘the holidays’.”

“Animals have bigger problems.”

“Yeah, exactly. Like food and kill or be killed. Whenever I see Santa and his Reindeer I think of the time I was a caribou. The whole thing shows little understanding of…”

“You were a caribou?”

“Yep. Wonderful times. Wandering with my pals for miles and miles in the snow, running from wolves, sometimes taking one down. I don’t know if I’ve told you this, Dude, but I loved the Ice Age.”

“It had its points, I’ll grant you, but it was cold. And as for Santa, in some parts of the world caribou are raised as domestic herd animals. It’s not totally crazy.”

“You don’t think caribou flying through the air is totally crazy? No wonder you were able to be a convincing Smilodon in that suit for such a long time.”

“I was convincing first because I was in that suit and second because I was once a Smilodon. I’d have made short shrift of you as a caribou. Remember that.”

“Short shrift. Now that’s one of the strangest phrases in English, don’t you think? What’s a ‘shrift’?”

***

Lamont and Dude are characters I came up with a few years ago. They have the uncanny ability to remember many of their previous incarnations which gives them a unique perspective on life, the universe and everything.


Lamont and Dude Ponder Friendship

“‘Unaware of the dangers that lay ahead, Lamont and Dude pursued the Protoceratops with a vengeance‘. What do you think?”

“No, Dude. No one had any desire for revenge against a protoceratops. They were just leathery sheep with armor and a nasty bite. You can’t write that.”

“I have to put some drama into this thing. Otherwise it’s just a dull recitation of, you know, a dull recitation.”

“There was plenty of drama without adding vengeance against leathery sheep. As I recall, somewhere in there was a meteor.”

“Who’s writing this? You had your chance. OK so what?”

“Just take out ‘with a vengeance.’ Wasn’t your whole idea to dispel the myth that we were evil predatory giant lizards?”

“Yeah, but I’m wondering about that now. We weren’t exactly giant and we weren’t evil, but lizard and predatory holds true.”

“When it came to the protoceratops, we were pretty evenly matched, too.”

“When it was two against one. Alone, we couldn’t take a protoceratops. We had to team up. That’s how we became friends.”

“Dinosaurs didn’t have friends, Dude.”

***
Lamont and Dude are characters I came up with a few years ago. They have the uncanny ability to remember many of their past incarnations which gives them a unique perspective on life, the universe and everything.

https://ragtagcommunity.wordpress.com/2018/11/29/rdp-thursday-unaware/

Lamont and Dude Celebrate a Birthday

 

“Happy birthday Lamont!”

“Dude, what?”

“Yep. On this day, 1743 years ago, you fell from your mom during a windstorm, landed in rich humus of oak leaves, dirt, and cow dung.”

“What are you talking about?”

“You were a tiny acorn. No one imagined that out of the hundreds tossed about in the gale, YOU would send down roots, send up shoots, reach your tiny branches to the sky, and voilá, after a couple of centuries your gnarled and lovely branches would shelter many a weary traveler, host many a Druid feast, provide a home for squirrels, insects, birds, your friend Mr. Owl…”

“Good lord. Mr. Owl?”

“You don’t remember?”

“Yeah, but I don’t think I called him ‘mister’. How do you know I was ‘born’ on that day?”

“I was there, remember?”

“You were an acorn.”

“Yeah, but I was paying attention. Anyway, that storm was unforgettable.”

“Apparently.”

“Mom made it through. Amazing, considering her great age.”

“I don’t remember ‘mom’ at all.”

“Well, you fell pretty far away from her nurturing influence.”

“Don’t you have a job to go to or something? A Smilodon suit to don? A long, harrowing drive?”

“I quit. Last week. I told you. It got to be tedious after a while. Those Smilodon urges, well, you know. You can’t just put on a costume week after week and not want to hunt mastodons.”

“I think I could do that, Dude. I mean, it was an income. That was a good thing. You got paid a lot…”

“To sweat for two days a week, snarl and make paw swipes, hanging around while my ‘handler’ let the kiddies ask questions that I wasn’t allowed to answer. It’s amazing to me what these so-called scientists don’t seem to know. You’d think they’d remember a little something.”

***

Lamont and Dude are characters I came up with a few years ago. They have the uncanny ability to remember many of their past incarnations which gives them a unique perspective on life, the universe and everything.

P.S. Decided to test out WP’s new editor. Has some glitches but so far so good. I didn’t challenge it much. You can edit the size of an image without going away from your post, which is nice.

https://ragtagcommunity.wordpress.com/2018/11/14/rdp-wednesday-birthday/

Lamont and Dude Discuss Diet and Scientific Truth

“Remember those lovely warm afternoons after we chased, shredded and shared an protoceraptops and we just lay there, basking on a rock, digesting?”

“What’s wrong, Lamont?”

“Nothing, just thinking of the goodle days.”

“Yeah, the reptilian life has a lot going for it.”

“Especially when you’re a dinosaur, wouldn’t you say? I wouldn’t like being an alligator lizard.”

“Maybe you have been. Who knows?”

“Yeah, that’s not the kind of existence you’d remember, especially if you got run over by a car or eaten by a cat.”

“Did you ever think how everything stays the same and only the names are changed?”

“I have. I was watching a gray tabby cat play with a dead leaf, and I thought ‘Whoa, if I got down there real close to the ground it would look like a Smilodon vs, I don’t know, something’.”

“Yeah, it’s just a matter of scale. Why don’t we go to the store and get some steaks? It’ll be almost like we killed something.”

“Speaking of scale, science has figured out that we didn’t kill many big dinosaurs but were mostly scavengers, and if we killed anything it was mostly bugs, lizards and stuff like that.”

“Science scmience. It was still fun, wasn’t it?”

***

Lamont and Dude are characters I came up with a few years ago. They have the uncanny ability to remember many of their past incarnations which gives them an unusual perspective on life, the universe and everything.

https://www.livescience.com/23922-velociraptor-facts.html

https://ragtagcommunity.wordpress.com/2018/11/03/rdp-saturday-bask/

Lamont and Dude Discuss Friendship

“Dude, how’d it go up there in LA?”

“I dunno. I told you I’m about over this. This is not being a REAL Smilodon. This is being a guy in a smilodon suit. I almost told the kiddies that today.”

“I knew there’d come a time when you’d want to show those kids what a REAL Smilodon does. Did.”

“No. The kids are cute. They love Smilodons. I’m not going to fuck with that.”

“Yeah, you’re no real Smilodon. Tell you what, I’ll wear the costume next week. No one will know. You can have a weekend off. Hit on some women, you know, like in the old days.”

“It won’t work. You’ll open your human mouth and all kinds of wise cynicism will come out. Besides, were you ever a roaring predator?”

“You’re seriously asking me that?”

“Well?”

“I was a tiger.”

“I keep forgetting. I wasn’t around for that one.”

“Maybe you were a rock. You were an island. I don’t know.”

“That was the iteration that made you afraid of luv’, right? The one where you were killed by the male while you were mating?”

“It’s not that unusual.”

“Probably nature’s way of keeping the species strong. Only the really tough females survive.”

“If you’re trying to insult me, that’s not the way. You weren’t there and you’ve never been a Siberian tiger. If anything, it’s a design flaw.”

“Why would I insult you? You’re my best friend!”

***

Lamont and Dude are characters I came up with a few years ago. They have the uncanny ability to remember many of their previous incarnations which gives them a unique perspective on life, the universe and everything.

***

Friendship is one of the greatest things in life. ❤

 

https://ragtagcommunity.wordpress.com/2018/10/25/rdp-thursday-friend/

Lamont and Dude Discuss Career Change

“I’m glad that’s over. I’m getting kind of tired of donning the Smilodon Suit every week and driving to LA. I’m thinking of quitting.”

“I saw the last video. You seemed a little off your game.”‘

“Is that supposed to be funny?”

“No, but it is funny. You want to get the girls next door and throw a few steaks on the barbie?”

“Was THAT supposed to be funny?”

“I see what you mean. But anyway, do you?”

“I just want a weekend off, you know? Hang around with no schedules and no hot smilodon suit and no little kid pulling my fake whiskers. It was hard enough being a REAL smilodon.”

“Right, what was hard about that? Top predator, yadda, yadda, yadda.”

“You’re going to have to let that go someday, Lamont. I’m sorry it was you in the tarpit, I’ve told you that a hundred times, but I didn’t know it was you, and even if I had, so what? You know it’s kill-or-be-killed out there. How many times did you kill and eat me? You don’t even know.”

“No, but I savor — ha ha — the memories of the times I remember. Maybe we should change the subject and focus on the time I was a bear and you were a beautiful salmon leaping from the mountain stream, right into my mouth.”

“It was a brief and happy life. There’s something to be said for that.”

“Not much when it comes down to it.”

“OK, but it’s good to look on the bright side.”

***

Lamont and Dude are characters I came up with a few years ago. They have the uncanny ability to remember many of their previous incarnations which gives them a unique perspective on life, the universe and everything.

https://ragtagcommunity.wordpress.com/2018/10/19/rdp-friday-week/

Lamont and Dude Discuss the Viability of a Scientific Explanation

“I dunno, Dude. I really thought that guy ‘got it’ you know? But maybe you’ve been right all along.”

“What?”

“About reincarnation.”

“Ah. Well, I dunno. I think the truth is pretty out there.”

“I’m inspired to explain it.”

“It’s your funeral. I gotta’ get ready to go to LA.”

“What if you sat down in your smilodon costume and explained it to all the people watching, you know? Instead of just acting like a humanoid smilodon?”

“That would go over real well. Lamont, let people have their misconceptions. It doesn’t change anything. Maybe a person needs to experience it a few times to really get it.”

“Who HASN’T experienced it a few times?”

“True, but how many people REALIZE it?”

“I think you might be right, Dude. It’s enough that sometimes some people have glimmerings.”

Our birth is but a sleep and a forgetting:
The Soul that rises with us, our life’s Star,
Hath had elsewhere its setting,
And cometh from afar:
Wordsworth “Intimations of Immortality from Recollections of Early Childhood”

***

Lamont and Dude are characters I came up with a few years ago. They have the uncanny ability to remember many of their past incarnations which gives them a unique perspective on life, the universe and everything.

https://ragtagcommunity.wordpress.com/2018/09/26/wednesday-rdp-inspire/