Sole Mates

I know I must have met you once or twice,
Before I knew what I was looking for.
Or was it pure chance, a roll of the dice?
“Some enchanted evening,” or something more?
We would have been good friends and laughed a lot.
Bags packed, journeys to the planet’s distant
parts. Curious, adventure we’d have sought.
We’d have argued, but not inside our tent.
Would we have tried to save the world or been
Content just to live in it? I don’t know.
We would have faith in each other’s passions,
Giving and getting space and time to grow.
If I met you, I think it must have been,
Before my own nature I had gleaned.


Many sonnets are love poems; maybe even most of them. I decided to try writing a love poem but… The conundrum in this situation (pretty accurately described by this sonnet) is that if I’d FOUND “the one” I would have had a very different life. Whether it would have been better? The life I have and have had is pretty great so my jury is out on whether this is something to regret or not. Probably something to regret in some ways and not in others. Anyway, the couplet at the end is the truth.

This is a Shakespearean sonnet, more or less. 14 lines, ababcdcdefefgg. Iambic pentameter (10 syllable lines with the stress on every other syllable, but I’m not a fetishist about that). The final six lines are supposed to set up a situation established by or counter to the first 8 lines. I’m not big on rules, though, other than the rhyme and syllable thing. I’m writing sonnets as a mental challenge, mostly, but once in a while one might be good. I started writing sonnets when I realized I just don’t have much more to say in one of my customary blog posts at the moment.

32 thoughts on “Sole Mates

  1. Love this “almost love” sonnet! I didn’t marry until I was 26 and knew who I was and what I wanted… I think caution kept me from running headlong into marriage. I have never been a risk taker.

  2. ‘Give a girl the right pair of shoes and she’ll conquer the world.’ Marilyn Monroe might or might not have said this, but I think you have done alright with your sole mates.

  3. The story weaves its way in your sonnet (I hadn’t realized there was so much structure involved in a sonnet, but then again I was a science major). Good friends and laughed a lot…I like it. It is an adventure, almost, to imagine the “what if” with someone or someone else.

    • I would have majored in physics if I’d ever passed an exam… Funny how our futures are determined by stuff that has nothing to do with what we want. Dyscalculia…. I’m pretty sure there were at least a couple of good possibilities but I wasn’t raised to be secure in a relationship. They terrified me. I get it now.

      • Those early years and relationships steer us where we go. And sometimes it doesn’t fit. If we figure out the real us at some point, I guess it’s better late than never. I look back and realize I was better suited to make different choices, if only….

        • My family didn’t model any healthy relationships, so I was clueless about what that would actually be. I tried, but… I’ve only understood that for the past 12 years or so, you know, that you could actually ASK for what you want and need and if someone loves you, they will listen and you can talk things over. Imagine that! Yeah, if only…

          • My family was like that too. I spent the better part of my life trying to figure out why they (my mother) were the way they were. And trying to fix her unhappiness. I was the oldest after all. One never asked for those very things you mention – too emotionally risky. I can only imagine…

            • Very risky. My mom said, “Your feelings don’t matter.” And, “I don’t care what you want.” I’m pretty sure this is partly why I’m so solitary by nature. The only time I could be sure things would go my way is if I did them alone. OH well. I’m sure in all of this we have both experienced unexpected compensations. My shrink said, “Your mother made you strong, funny and resilient.” She was right.

            • My feelings didn’t matter either unless they matched up correctly with what was “okay.” So first I had to figure that out. I know I’m stronger because of/in spite of her and perhaps a more persistent and intuitive problem solver. Survival instinct for the most part. But, yes, a compensation.

            • It’s easier from where we are now to see the whole picture. I didn’t have all the facts until I was in my late 40s and then I didn’t know how to use the information. But it’s OK. My unbearable household sent me to the forest and I cannot imagine my life without those precious lessons that started when I was 8 years old. I’m grateful for having been born with the nature to go out and look for something to love. At this point, I think one of life’s greatest gifts is the ability to love something maybe even more than loving someone. ❤

            • Living this long has afforded us the time to learn about a silver lining in all that unbearable history. The ability to love is the greatest gift. Even if the route to get there takes a bit longer.❤️

  4. What is that saying by Schrodinger’s cat comes to mind…the answer was both” lol kind of how I see the situation. You can’t say for sure, because it’s a rather non existent situation, it didn’t happen, or if it did, it’s gone now…and life has been good…so it’s impossible to second guess. Still, I love your soul. It’s pretty remarkable.

  5. I like your love sonnet, Martha. It is honest, wistful and thoughtful.
    I still don’t know who I am. Maybe I would have been different if I hadn’t stayed married to my True Love? Maybe you are you because of that which was not meant to be? I don’t think you need a partner to be complete. Definitely need sole though. 🙂
    Song suggestions – Howard Jones’ “What Is Love”, and Haddaway’s “What Is Love”.

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