Sometimes I wonder about being human. It’s all I’ve ever been or will be, and yet it seems strange to me. The convolutions of human development — body mind and spirit — often conflict with each other and the mores of our times — whatever they are — add another dimension.
Being human is an immense responsibility, and I don’t always feel up to it. First of all, we have to take care of ourselves which demands choices that we, ideally, make in our own best interest. Then, we make choices that affect others; same dilemma only worse. Then, we have to negotiate with others about these choices. Argh. Then, we make mistakes and have to mitigate the damage. One of the human things that irks me most is the tendency we have to judge the past by the present. I don’t know who said, “The past is another country,” but they were right. Even our own individual past is, in many respects, “another country.” Our only option is forward.
In bean news (which is the most important news) things are growing well so far. Farming is a day-to-day thing in many respects. There is no way to know what’s going to happen tomorrow, so you do your best in the present moment. Out of twelve beans I have (so far) gotten ten plants. One isn’t doing great but I haven’t given up and neither has he. I still don’t know if they’re poets or bandits, but they’re acting a lot more like poets than bandits. Please excuse the dirty windows. I hate them, but they have old-style storm windows on them, screwed on outside (no way in hell am I getting on a ladder to take them down) and someone did worse than paint the inside windows shut; they have been sealed with adhesive foam to keep out the cold. I can only wash the inside and the outside: the glass in the middle? One of my goals for this summer is figuring that out. If I had a lot of money, I’d replace all these old windows, but I don’t.