And NOW???

It’s going to be a new — but sweet — challenge to figure out how to use that part of our brains that’s been taken up with the daily DC chaos for the past four years. It reminds me a little — so far — of what it was like when the Evil X finally left. My brain was really tired and one entire focus of my existence was gone. I think a lot of Americans — and maybe people all over the world — are going to experience that strange combination of euphoria and letdown.

I enjoyed watching Biden introduce some of his appointees yesterday. I liked them and felt so strange that I don’t know anything about them and don’t think I have to. That was a kind of shocker, “I don’t have to react to this AT ALL.” I just listened to them talk and considered how their superficial appearances resembled the population in a preponderance of my California classrooms.

It was a struggle for four years NOT to pay attention to someone who was so blatantly playing for my attention. I failed (as we all know) but not all the time. Sometimes I succeeded but as time wore on it was more and more difficult. Maybe that was true for all of us. There was just so much swirling around out there, so much deserving justifiable outrage, so much that pointed to incipient totalitarianism.

One of my friends in Europe said that 45 did a good job not involving the US military in more wars and that’s something 45s supporters say, too. My friend is afraid Biden will start more wars in the Mediterranean. What people seem to forget is HOW all that started back in 2001, and what a shit-show it’s been, what a tangled up, incomprehensible, insoluble mess. I’ve have no idea anymore who’s where or what, but I kind of think my friend’s fears are groundless. Anyway, like him, I hope they’re groundless. All of us are tired of the endless wars.

So where is that energy going to go? It’s going to be interesting — and kind of wonderful — to find out. One place it went yesterday was in moments of spontaneous weeping. You can hold a lot of stuff inside, but it isn’t going to stay there.

21 thoughts on “And NOW???

  1. I, like you, tried not to pay attention for four years–at least not to anything I didn’t feel I could directly impact. And yes, sweet relief now.

    • Yep. There was so much horror that I couldn’t even wrap my head around — now-parentless kids in cages at the border tops the list. But I couldn’t fix that. I could hope this or that or impeachment or some other remedy, but couldn’t effect any of the changes myself. I just didn’t want anger and dismay to become habits.

  2. It’s so hard to describe this emotional space between the last four years of constant alert to danger and the current sense that things might, just maybe, return to some sense of normalcy and calm. I’m still struggling to figure how to use the time I previously spent wired with the fight-or-flight adrenaline that was the daily news cycle.

    • Yep. It’s weird. I sometimes calmed myself down playing a video game I’ve played off and on since the 80s — Sim City — but it doesn’t run on Apple’s recent update. It was just something I could do that would inevitably lead to a completely meaningless achievement. A viable city.

  3. It leaves a void, but there are still pockets of residue. Hence the crying. Here too. But oh what a relief it is. Unfortunately 45 is not done – now the pardoning begins….

  4. This is a wonderful post and reflection on this last 4 years. I’m relieved that things seem on track for a transition to a “kinder and gentler” nation (to quote former Pres. GH Bush). I am hoping that Joe Biden doesn’t do Twitter!!

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