“No paleontology today, Dude?”
“No. The museum has closed everything at this point. Two guys got sick. You’re stuck with me 24/7 now, Lamont.”
“No. I’ve been working alone in that trailer with mammoth bones. These guys were in a lab. But now I have this app on my phone I use to report how I’m doing vis-a-vis our present crisis.”
“Oh, a new kind of computer virus.”
“Ha ha Lamont. Seriously, though. It’s a good idea.”
“I agree but for it to work everyone has to use it.”
“Are you using it?”
“Well, yeah. I like it, I like it especially because of this screen…”
“Because, Dude, you’re never ‘normal’.”
“Except maybe physically. I love that.”
“How is any human ever ‘normal’? That’s a paradox for your philosophical brain, Lamont.”
“I don’t know. I know that when I was an oak tree I NEVER thought longingly about what it was like being a human. Did you?”
“I might have. But, seriously, Lamont. Was our oak tree iteration really EVERYTHING you think it was? Our memories aren’t perfect. Look what happened with the whole Smilodon/mastodon story. You were a mammoth, and I was a kitten. That’s not how either of us remembered it. Maybe our time as oak trees was more fraught with angst and trauma than we recall.”
“That fire wasn’t great, but, you know, that was after thousands of years of tranquility and beauty. But, you know. After a few million trips around the old sun, you learn to take the bitter with the sweet.”
Lamont and Dude are characters I came up with several years ago. They have the uncanny ability to remember many of their past iterations which gives them a unique perspective on life, the universe and everything.
The app is C-19. Here is a link: https://c19check.com/start The purpose is to track symptoms across a large population in the absence of testing.