Lamont and Dude Evaluate the Present Crisis

“Well this is interesting.”

“Isn’t it? Honestly, life — lives — an endless opportunity to observe absurdity.”

“Poor old guy, Lamont. He’s just scared.”

“One needs a little sangfroid in times like this. Remember the Ice Age? Here today, gone tomorrow. Scary times, but I don’t remember going to the store wearing a face mask and gloves.”

“Lamont, as I recall in the Ice Age YOU were the store.”

“Not all the time, Dude. You were the store plenty of times yourself Mr. Salmon-who-DIDN’T-get-away.”

“A salmon has a short lifespan at best, Lamont. I’ve made peace with the whole thing. Why can’t you let the woolly mammoth thing go? So what do you think of this ‘boomer-remover’ thing going around?”

“Just a bunch of dumb kids trying to look on the bright side. Is the museum closed like everything else?”

“Oh yeah. No Smilodon suit for the foreseeable future. Did you see the videos of the Governator teaching people to wash their hands, feeding carrots to farm animals in his kitchen and riding his bike on Venice Beach?”

“There’s a silver lining to everything. You going out later? As far as I know the ocean is safe, well, sharks, but you know.”


Lamont and Dude are characters I came up with a few years ago. They have the uncanny ability to remember many of their past incarnations which gives them an unusual perspective on life, the universe and everything. If you enjoyed this, search “Lamont and Dude” and you can read a LOT more of this kind of absurdity.

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