One of my longest-time friends is receiving an award, a really special one, in Denver next month. She invited me. My first thought was, “I don’t have clothes for this!” I described my fashion crisis on Facebook and got GOOD help. Out of THAT I realized 1) I have a fancy outfit, and 2) I don’t want to be buried in it. Realizing I could show up in something other than jeans and a sweatshirt, my fingers shot back to my friend a big, red YES!!! Then I investigated the cost of the hotel and everything else the trip would entail, and I had to write again, “I can’t.”
Friends stepped up with invitations to stay with them, but even then? Not easy. I thought about it for two nights (seriously) and realized that what I really want to do is hang out with her. She’s invited me several times and I have never gone. I wrote again, explaining how we wouldn’t get much of a chance to talk, catch up, anything at the event and I’d really like to have that chance. We’ve decided I will come up for a weekend so we can talk and do things together.
Money is a “thing.” Day-to-day I feel like a well-off, prosperous person but that feeling depends on remaining mostly stationary. I can no longer “GO!” paid for by a credit card I can easily pay off with an extra summer class as I once did.
I had a student some years ago whose father had left his mother and moved back to Spain. The father wanted the son to visit but the son wasn’t sure. We had a heart-to-heart about this (in my mind non-dilemma) and I said, “Whenever you get the chance, GO! Just GO!!” With a ball-point pen I wrote “Just GO!!” on his jeans. He was sitting facing me and I wrote it just over his knee. Over the weekend he had those words tattooed on his leg. I wonder what kind of shit I’d be in today for writing on a kid’s leg…
I still believe in that philosophy, but it’s not that easy. The man “in” my life (at a distance) has written:
* Colorado…….se potessi arriverei lì in un attimo…..adesso abbiamo un volo diretto da Roma a Denver con Norvegian……prima o poi….
BUT — I’m now seriously thinking about going (somewhere). My little first-world crisis last week awakened me to the fact that I’m not really ready just to stay here. The thing about GOING at this point in my life is that it has to be (as with a visit to my old friend) the right journey. I’m not sure yet what that will be — the Middle East or Switzerland. Typing this, I think I made my decision. One of writing’s great gifts is clarification.
As I wrote this post, Mohammed’s radio blared (sweetly), this song that I sang in the shower when I was a teenager. It drove my mom crazy. I don’t sing well, and I didn’t know all the words, but, dammit, I was LEAVING ON A JET PLANE!!!! 😀
*Colorado ……. if I could I would arrive there in a moment ….. now we have a direct flight from Rome to Denver with Norwegian … …sooner or later….