No, Teddy’s not preening. He’s wearing my t-shirt so he doesn’t mess with the stitches on his gonads. One of the good parts of having a male dog neutered is that one gets to use the word “gonads,” truly one of the best words in English.
In cinema, the best gonad scene I can recall is in Little Big Man when General Custer is preening in his tent and has called in Dustin Hoffman’s character, Jack Crabb (who was raised by the Cheyenne), to explain his job with Custer’s army. In that conversation Custer dubs Jack “Muleskinner,” and says that he knows Jack Crabb is totally untrustworthy. He explains that he going to use Jack as a “reverse scout,” and will do the opposite of everything he advises. In their conversation Custer explains how hours in the saddle cause “the juices” to rise unhealthily in the gonads.
Sadly, this isn’t anywhere on Youtube or I’d share it for our mutual amusement. Later in the film, they are on the battlefield, surrounded by “savages.” Custer asks Jack what he should do…
And since there are people who read this blog who live in other countries, or parts of the United States where they might not have been raised on debates about the Battle of the Little Bighorn, here’s what it’s all about. Because my family (mom, aunts) had grown up within a few miles of the battlefield, Custer’s mistakes were a normal topic of conversation at family gatherings. As it happens, my grandfather was six years old when the battle took place.
The battlefield is a National Monument. Originally it was called Custer Battlefield, but more enlightened times changed the name to Little Bighorn Battlefield. It is known by locals as “Buster’s Cattlefield” for good reason. Cattle graze there. The most famous artifact in the family — which I possess — is an arrowhead of Montana moss agate found by my Aunt Martha and grandfather on a stroll through the cattle field.