Lamont and Dude Discuss Existential Angst

“I love those guys.”

“Which guys, Lamont? And, guys?”

“Fig eater beetles. Aren’t they beautiful?”

“Yeah. All metallic green and velvet.”

“Do you remember ever being a bug? I don’t but…”

“Pretty short, a bug’s life. Not a lot to remember.”

“True. Sad, though.”

“You seem kind of melancholy, Lamont. What’s up?”

“I haven’t heard from my agent in weeks. Months, even. I think my television career is at a dead end.”

“It’s not you, Lamont. The media is consumed with the political freak show.”

“Wouldn’t you think people would want a break from all that.”

“I think they do, it’s just they’re all addicted.”


“As you’ve said a thousand times, ‘Monkey see, monkey do’. They don’t want to miss anything on the ‘news’.”

“It’s just a lot of face-lifted human females with iridescent makeup, silicone mammaries and cocktail dresses. In another era…”

“I know. We’d be chasing them across the Savannah and leaving them to bear our young, or we’d be chased across the Savannah etc. but, Lamont… Come out and catch a few waves.”

“Naw, you go.”

“Lamont, you can’t just sit here all day wishing you could be a Fig Eater Beetle. Remember your own words to carpe the diem and live each iteration to the fullest?”

“Yeah, but being human is really not a lot of fun. How do you live an iteration like this ‘to the fullest’ Dude?”

“Get off your pity pot and grab your board. Maybe you’ll get lucky. A great white shark will get you, and you’ll come back as a Fig Eater Beetle.”

“Always a bright side.”


Lamont and Dude are characters I came up with a few years ago. They have the uncanny ability to remember many of their past incarnations which gives them a unique perspective on life, the universe and everything.

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