Spring? Just Say NO!!!

Dear Normal People:

Spring is several weeks away. 28 days + 7 or so. Back off. Anyway, what’s so great about it?

Spring is a silly season, ambivalent and immature. It’s childish and makes horrible mistakes. A couple of years ago Spring, in a fit of pique, threw us a hard freeze toward the end of itself, and we had NO apples in the San Luis Valley. Spring is sinister like that. In pictures it looks all pretty like a girl in a prom dress, but seriously? It’s war. 60-70 mph winds, mud, ticks, sandstorms (gravel storms, actually). Nasty. Sure, winter has its problems — ice, cold, but it’s not going to pull the rug out from under your hopes — well, a little bit — but not like spring.

That whore.

And then what? SUMMER! Horror. Lawn mowing, mosquitos, endlessly tending the damned garden, afternoon hail storms, and those long, long hot days when you can’t walk your dogs until 7 pm and people are using the golf course for — golf. No thanks. It’s dark times from March 21 until October with its chill nights, swirling leaves and the promise of winter.

I just grit my teeth and try to get through Spring and Summer. I’m in no hurry.

Yesterday I was driven to write poetry in response to blog posts about longing for spring. Here they are…

Stay away spring
with your oozing, sticky mud
your wind and dust storms
your promises and betrayals
apple blossoms blown from trees.

Stay away spring
A little more snow
more trails and skiing
Places for my dog to bound
through deep soft drifts
before the fecund nightmare
starts again.


Everyone yearns for spring.
I wish winter stayed longer
Deep drifts and ski tracks.

I woke up this morning thinking I’d done the right thing going into debt temporarily to buy my skis because it MIGHT be that won’t happen again on the golf course and I hesitate to go up to the mountains alone, especially with a non-4WD car. Then I thought, “How stupid. No one had 4WD cars back in the day but we all went to the mountains. What fearful wusses we have become. And with cell phones!!!”

BUT… I am not in the spring or summer or even autumn (well, maybe I’m in November or something, late autumn) of my life anymore. That’s a non-negotiable, material difference. Back in the summer of my life, I did strap my skis to the top of my VW Bug and head to the untrammeled wilds alone. I didn’t consider the dangers back then, only the thrill of skiing up (then down) favorite hiking trails.

Next year I will attend the early season socials of the San Juan Nordic Club, the heroes who groom the trails around here. I’ll stifle my shyness and bring my potluck dish. Who knows? I might meet a similar soul who needs a pal for the back country.

Your pals,

Martha and Polar Bear Yeti T. Dog


25 thoughts on “Spring? Just Say NO!!!

  1. I will hope too 🙂 — and we are still getting dustings of snow on the mountains. Sorry your mountains are catching all the snow and keeping it from your valley 😦 .

        • Yes. It’s OK. I woke up this morning and was grateful to myself (?) for taking the chance and buying my skis when I did instead of cautiously waiting until I got my tax refund. I had some beautiful moments and learned important things about my abilities. It’s all OK. Next year I’ll take the next step and maybe it will snow some more here. Who knows.

  2. A-fuckin-MEN, Martha. I’m gonna print your poem and post it on my wall. Sadly, Mother Nature is so confused that spring has already sprung here, and we’ve had record rainfall and warm temperatures for the past month. My Japanese maple has put forth its first buds, and if I don’t keep it covered every day, the inevitable frost is going to kill it. I shudder to think of the state of all our farmers’ crops this year.

    But hey, there’s no such thing as climate change, right? I mean, if the President say it, it must be true. Right?!?

    • Thanks for understanding. It’s pretty rare. The one good thing is we are having LOTS of snow in the mountains so this summer the river might make it all the way to Texas. Thankfully, it’s only getting up to 34 in the day here, so I keep hope alive. If I see a crocus, I don’t want to answer for what I might do.

  3. It’s childish and makes horrible mistakes – too true! You voiced my thoughts about spring exactly. But I’m not a fan of winter. I dream of some day when I can go to the Keys from Jan-March every year. have to unload these horses first. If I had my way it would just stay fall all year long.

  4. I love all the seasons, winter most of all, then the colours of autumn the promises of spring and the warmth of summer, but I still love winter most of all!

  5. I love how you embrace winter! We finally got the snow, but with wind chills in the -40’s, not exactly x-country weather, hoping it warms up and the winds don’t come, as often happens here, and blow all the snow away!

    • We have the same problem. When the wind comes (and it will), it freezes the snow into sadistic little concrete drifts. BUT…I’m going out tomorrow. I tested it today and it’s semi-almost-decent. They’re promising rain (???) Thursday followed by snow. That’s going to be a real picnic. :p

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