“I’m glad that’s over. I’m getting kind of tired of donning the Smilodon Suit every week and driving to LA. I’m thinking of quitting.”
“I saw the last video. You seemed a little off your game.”‘
“Is that supposed to be funny?”
“No, but it is funny. You want to get the girls next door and throw a few steaks on the barbie?”
“Was THAT supposed to be funny?”
“I see what you mean. But anyway, do you?”
“I just want a weekend off, you know? Hang around with no schedules and no hot smilodon suit and no little kid pulling my fake whiskers. It was hard enough being a REAL smilodon.”
“Right, what was hard about that? Top predator, yadda, yadda, yadda.”
“You’re going to have to let that go someday, Lamont. I’m sorry it was you in the tarpit, I’ve told you that a hundred times, but I didn’t know it was you, and even if I had, so what? You know it’s kill-or-be-killed out there. How many times did you kill and eat me? You don’t even know.”
“No, but I savor — ha ha — the memories of the times I remember. Maybe we should change the subject and focus on the time I was a bear and you were a beautiful salmon leaping from the mountain stream, right into my mouth.”
“It was a brief and happy life. There’s something to be said for that.”
“Not much when it comes down to it.”
“OK, but it’s good to look on the bright side.”
***
Lamont and Dude are characters I came up with a few years ago. They have the uncanny ability to remember many of their previous incarnations which gives them a unique perspective on life, the universe and everything.
https://ragtagcommunity.wordpress.com/2018/10/19/rdp-friday-week/
Good to hear from Lamont and Dude again! Puts a smilodon on my face!
Lamont says that’s a dangerous location for a smilodon 😉
good advice!
He’s full of it…
Glad to see they have returned. I thought the abominable snow man might have caught them and put them in deep freeze for a snack later on.
Not yeti, though it could happen.
They need their own blog 🙂
I don’t think they have that much to say. 🙂
But it’s worth is when they do 🙂
They thank you. 🙂
I like the idea of their memoirs being available in one place
They’re all here under Lamont and Dude. Maybe if we get a horrible blizzard and I’m trapped inside for a few days I can migrate them to their own blog. I started downloading them a couple of years ago, but there are a LOT of them. And, of course, I (compulsively?) felt I had to edit…
That first bear actually missed the salmon. Like me trying to play tennis. “Must be a hole in the racket … I’m SURE I hit that one …”
Lamont says it’s important that top predators sometimes fail 🙂
Take the weekend off. Eat, drink and be merry.