Dude Starts to Believe in Kafka — or Laurel and Hardy

“You should be interviewing me as a witness not a suspect. I saw the whole thing and it WASN’T moider, not in any normal sense, anyway.”

“When is moider normal?”

“That’s not the point.”

“It’s a point.”

“Granted, but the question here is how did Lamont die? And I have the answer to that. You should be interested.”

“He came flying outta’ that window. You probably pushed him.”

“Why would I push him? He’s my best friend.”

“You know the answer to that better than anyone, Dude. Yer coming to the station.”

“Whatever. But you should really go upstairs and talk to those people. They were there, too, when Lamont…”

“When you pushed him?”

“I didn’t push him.”

“I’ll take over, Chief. I’m Detective Inspector Ryan.”

“This isn’t your jurisdiction, Detective Inspector.”

“It is now. What do we have here?”

“This is my friend, Lamont. We were having dinner with friends upstairs, and there was an earthquake. Lamont was sitting on the windowsill with a plate of raviolis at the moment the quake hit.”

“Uh-uh. And what time was the earthquake?”

“I don’t know, thirty minutes ago? You must’ve felt it.”

“I’m going to have to check that out with the USGS, meanwhile, I’m arresting you on suspicion of murdering Lamont, Lamont, Lamont. What was his full name.”

“Lamont. That was it. At our ages, we pretty much gave up on the idea of surnames. I mean, you come around a few dozen times and what is the whole point of parentage, right?”

“You seem familiar. So does your friend. Have you been at the Tar Pits lately?”

“Yeah, this afternoon, why?”

“Were you dressed as a Smilodon?”

“Yeah, but how could you know that?”

“Your voice. Could you do a scary Smilodon roar for me?”

“Really, Detective Inspector, what does that have to do with anything?”

“It’s pretty amazing, Chief. You’d think this guy was ACTUALLY a Smilodon!”

“I was. In a previous incarnation. Look, are you guys in the LEAST interested in what happened to my friend, Lamont?”

“Wait a minute. You guys were on TV, right? On Ellen?”

“Yeah, Chief, but that was a while back.”

“I NEVER miss Ellen. You and your buddy here knew each before when you were like fish and bears and stuff, right? I thought you were just a couple of cranks.”

“What about Lamont???”

“We’re going to take you in for questioning on suspicion of murder, Mr. Smilodon. Here, let me cuff you.”

Previous Episode….

Lamont (RIP) and Dude are characters I came up with a few years ago. They have the uncanny ability to remember many of their past lives which gives them a unique perspective on life, the universe, and everything.


16 thoughts on “Dude Starts to Believe in Kafka — or Laurel and Hardy

  1. the affair of the ravioli and the earthquake, by Dude and Lamont. Fabulous thus far.

    And even more fabulous–your flowers! Daffs of all sorts, tulips, grape hyacinths and a beginning peony. Great shade for the fairy house–keeps the fairy out of the tar pits.

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