Dude Talks to a Copper

“You’re gonna’ sing, mister.”

“Sing what?”

“You know. Your confession. You’re going to rat out all your buddies and lay it all out and then you’re going to live in a ticky-tacky suburban house under an assumed name with legit ID. You got it? Better than the pen.”

“This one for sure. It’s all dried out.”

“Gimmie’ that.”

“Why would I ‘sing’ if I wasn’t even there…”

“So you knew the guy who was moidered?”

“How do you know he was murdered?”

“Moidered. You were standing right there at the scene when we were called. It had to be you.”

“No, it didn’t ‘had to be me’. You ought to do a little investigating. I think that would be your next step. Hold me if you think you have to, but to do that you have to charge me.”

“I’m charging you with moidering Lamont P. Ravioli.”

“This is absurd. The guy’s name was ‘Lamont Ravioli’?”

“As far as we know.”

“Usually the first thing that happens in an investigation is you ID the victim.”

“We know he was Lamont.”

“I know he was ‘Lamont’, too. Where did the ‘ravioli’ come from?”

“His shirt. What’s your full name?”


“I asked you your full name!”

“That’s it. My name is Dude. I had it legally changed years and years ago.”

“Awright. If you say so.”

“Yeah, well, I’d know if anyone does.”

“Were you acquainted with the deceased?”

“I’ve known him most of my lives.”



Lamont and Dude are characters I came up with a few years ago. They have (or had) the uncanny ability to remember many of their past incarnations which gives (gave?) them a unique perspective on life, the universe and everything.


15 thoughts on “Dude Talks to a Copper

  1. Nooooooooo. Sorry for your loss, Dude.

    A little song popped into my head – Dolly Parton’s ‘Here You Come Again’. It could be Dude and Lamont’s song. I dunno… But I played it as a tribute to Lamont and Dude’s enduring relationships. It seemed fitting since the daily prompt was song.

  2. What I want to know is…where’d you get the dinosaur in spaghetti sauce image? Do you make them yourself, or do you just have a unique source for bizarre artistic expressions?

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