Back in the day, I got up every morning at about 4:30 so I could organize myself and have some “me” time — and maybe write my blog — before heading down the highway to school. My first classes were always at 7:30 or 8:00 and it was at least a 40 miinute drive. I got so I didn’t even notice the early hour. My days were long — sometimes I didn’t get home from school until 8 o’clock — and from there the usual evening stuff of making supper and winding down. Then do it again. If I sound like a martyr, that’s OK. I was a martyr.

This morning I’m heading to Taos with a friend, and I need to be at her house at 9 which, I admit, is not that early. For me, having to organize the dogs and myself by a certain time, it’s early. The dogs are going to “day care” — practice for if they need to be boarded while I have my surgery. My friend lives 18 miles away. I had to set the alarm. I get up earlyish as it is (7:00/7:30) but if I didn’t get up this morning by 6:30 I’d have a hard time being ready.

OK, that’s just — here’s the deal. The alarm has become a foreign object to me and as soon as I set an alarm, I can’t sleep. I worry I won’t get up. I worry I won’t sleep. I worry about every possible thing I could worry about. Sure, I probably go right to sleep, but I’ll wake up and say, “Oh, good, I still have five hours” and it will be three hours of angst followed by two hours of sleep followed by, “Oh shit” and fear of the snooze.

But I made it, kind of, sort of, anyway I’m up and awake. I’ve fed the dogs and had my coffee and I have an hour to get ready and out of here.

Yesterday I posted a long story. It was 4000+ words.

As some of the readers of my blog know, I write novels. I don’t only write novels. I’ve been guilty of poetry a time or two, and I write short fiction when I have a good reason. Yesterday I read the daily prompt (talisman) and the only thing that came to my mind was the chapter in a very old work in progress that mentioned “talisman.”

I was intrigued by the comments on its length (but the readers seem to have enjoyed it anyway, which is the main point πŸ™‚ ) Thank you for your patience.

15 thoughts on “Alarmed

  1. Length??? Hell the story was so involving, so personal, so real, who noticed length? Hopefully you’ll be there and back and done before you know it. Glad you mentioned what happens when you set an alarm. It’s the same for me. I worry it won’t go off, I won’t hear it. Then I check 5 times before I get up thinking it messed up, why? Because it has in the past on numerous occasions. I get up at 7 am to make sure the little ones are up have eaten, dressed and ready for school. Right now they are on spring break, two weeks of no school, can I sleep in? nope up at 5 30 every morning without fail. lol I do get it, I so get it!

  2. Have a good trip to Taos. Nice that the 4 am days are largely behind you. I’m still an early upper, but now I don’t have to work late, which is a vast relief.

    I did enjoy your long story yesterday–don’t think i commented (lots of work and other interfering events), and it was fun. Cheers!

  3. and one more comment–I know what you mean on setting the alarm. Haven’t used one routinely in forever, as I’m good at getting myself up. But if I do set one, say for an early flight, I have the same problem of waking up and checking the time far too many times. Strange alarming of the brain.

  4. I gave up on alarms almost entirely a long time ago. Even the quietest one makes my heart race when it goes off. I watched a program once that showed how people waking up to alarms can exhibit the same problems driving a car as a drunk driver! On those rare occasions when I do set one, I almost invariably wake up before it goes off and shut it off.
    Have a great trip to Taos! I thought the long story was a great read.

  5. I seem to have an internal alarm clock — most days when I don’t have to get up it wakes me at about 7:30 or 8. On the days when I do need to be sure to get up earlier, I do the same nervous waking that you describe — and then I finally wake up about 10 minutes before the alarm goes off! Enjoy Taos!

  6. We are on the same page. I have two alarm clocks and if we need to actually BE somewhere before noon, we need them. We are so used to getting up when we feel like it, checking email, hanging out with the dogs … anything before afternoon seems really early. My, how times change!

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