Lamont and Dude Proffer an Allegory

“It wasn’t might, Lamont. It was more.”

“Uh, like, what? I think it was might. Being a giant lizard is definitely a mighty thing. The ground shook when we walked across it. It was great for the short time I was a Tyrannosaurus Rex.”

“You were a Tyrannosaurus Rex?”

“Not long.”

“What happened?”

“Oh, stuff. You know, things. I got sick and died.”

“I’m sorry, Lamont. That’s sad.”

“That’s how it goes. One day you’re a giant thunder lizard scaring the shit out of everything and the next you’re a pile of flesh being torn apart by scavengers.”

“Listen, Lamont, back when we were dinosaurs, we were also skillful. Not just mighty. We were skillful. And fast.”

“Fast, but skill? We just saw what we wanted to eat and ate it. That’s not skill. We didn’t need skill. Food was smaller. We killed it — or not — and ate it. Humans need skill. Velociraptors, no.”

“You mean all we did was see food and eat?”

“Yeah.”

“No skills? No development of a philosophical center?”

“No. None. Why? We didn’t need any. It’s not like now. Humans are just as aggressive as velociraptors, but not as mighty. Skills and philosophies are cheap compensation for pure, dumbass might.”

“Wow, Lamont. I never thought of it that way.”

“Look at history, Dude. Over the centuries humans have tried over and over to regain the clarity of an existence based on pure might, but they’re always dragged down by their paltry size and the human tendency to ask existential and ethical questions. As velociraptors, none of that applied to us. It was a simpler time and not all that unkind, not that kindness was an issue, but we only ate when we were hungry and there was food. We didn’t fight for fun.”

“Oh god no, absolutely not. You could always end up a giant mound of flesh for no reason.”

“And we had no real enemies.”

“Hmm. I’m beginning to see what you mean.”

“Sure we had a teeny tiny brain, but that might have worked to our advantage. Hard to say.”

“It seems to me, Lamont, if humans had the might of velociraptors and the consciousness of evil and all that stuff we’re stuck with, that would be a huge burden.”

 

 

https://dailypost.wordpress.com/prompts/mighty/

8 thoughts on “Lamont and Dude Proffer an Allegory

  1. I am still laughing. In the words of Tabby, my mini sabre toothed tiger with the MacDonalds “M” on the forehead, if it moves and breathes, kill it and eat it, with the exception of slugs and beetles.

  2. In our current world this comment: “Over the centuries humans have tried over and over to regain the clarity of an existence based on pure might, but they’re always dragged down by their paltry size and the human tendency to ask existential and ethical questions” no longer seems true. It ought to be, but it seems not.

    Until recently, I would have agreed.

    Today, I have NO idea what to think. I think maybe I should stop thinking.

  3. I had to read this twice to make sure I didn’t miss even the smallest detail in this remarkable conversation that made me think Lamont and Dude are way smarter than they sound. I was taken with the notion that dinosaurs didn’t fight for fun, but come to think of it, I don’t know of any species other than ours that does; you can’t really count cubs of various sorts wrestling around.

    • There’s nothing stupid about Lamont and Dude. They’re philosophers with all the advantages conferred by having lived many lifetimes as many species. I agree; cubs wrestling is play. The only thing dumb about them is Dude is kind of dumb in love and Lamont is cynical but those are the only options I could write believably. 😉

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