Emotions. As I was growing up, I learned to bury them. I didn’t know I was burying them. I was just doing what I was told. “If someone hurts your feelings, don’t let them see.” “Don’t let anger get the best of you.” “This isn’t the time to cry.” “If you have to say ‘sorry’ it’s too late.” I don’t think I’m the only person who’s heard this litany of self-control. Michael Martin Murphy wrote a song about it called, “Cowboy Logic.”
It’s hard to say if it is good or not. Sometimes it’s useful to hold the cards close to your chest, but I have learned in the past dozen years that emotions carry important information that I need in order to understand what’s happening in the outside world. Automatically burying feelings deprives me of some of that information and keeps me from being able to decide whether the emotion is useful or useless, whether the cause is serious or I’m just tired and hungry. And, if the cause is serious, then I can do something about it — or realize I can’t.
Since I learned all this about myself, I’ve had to learn to feel and identify my emotions. It is not easy, but it IS better. Life makes a lot more sense. 🙂