Lamont and Dude Discuss the Bearability of Human Life

“Rend and tear, rend and tear. Call it what every you want but it’s still rend and tear. Grrr.”

“What’s wrong, Lamont?”

“Human life. Every time I’ve returned as a human… It’s sugar-coating of ‘civilization’ and ‘humanity’ — what a crock. Humans are as savage — or more — than any other species.”

“Uh oh. Having one of those ‘despicable hypocrisy of the human race’ moments?”

“Yeah. I guess. Have you ever thought of how humans characterize the Great White Shark as the personification — wait, the fishification — of pure evil when he’s just hungry and good at getting his dinner?”

“That’s all he’s good at, really.”

“That’s my point. That is what animals do. We have all evolved skills so we don’t starve. That’s it. You can’t call that anything but what it is. Some creatures — canines and humans, for example — expanded their range of acceptable food. Other creatures evolved rotating rows of teeth. It amounts to the same thing.”

“You really miss the old days that much? It’s a lot easier to go to the store than it was to chase down something and then, at the last minute, wind up being eaten by the creature who was chasing you. You, of all creatures, should appreciate that.”

“Bring that up all you want, but how long were you a salmon? You didn’t even get to finish the spawn.”

“So you say, but I don’t remember that at all.”

“Of course you wouldn’t. Being a bear was great. Close in quality of life to being an oak tree. Several months of meditative hibernation followed by a two or three month feast. That’s a good way to organize a life, I’d say.”


Lamont and Dude are characters I came up with a few years ago. They have the uncanny ability to remember many of their past incarnations which gives them an unusual perspective on life, the universe and everything.

9 thoughts on “Lamont and Dude Discuss the Bearability of Human Life

  1. Couldn’t agree more – humans are more savage than any other creature on earth! I live in hope that we will learn, but our history seems to indicate otherwise.

      • True enough. The veneer is extremely thin. Scratch the surface and voila. I guess what angers me more is that in the name of progress, civility, unspeakable crimes and heinous acts of savagery are perpetrated against other nations, people different than us, the helpless and the poor anyone that can be victimized is.

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