Lamont and Dude Discuss Romance Novels

He leaned closer, closer, his lower lip trembling as he leaned in to kiss her. The moment for which he’d yearned, she had yearned. 

“You really want to write that, Lamont?”

“God no. Yuck.”

“So why are you?”

“Money, Dude, money and maybe fame.”

“Fame as a romance writer?”

“Well, why not?”

“I’m having a hard time imagining you in a big floppy hat, and gauze dress.”

“Voile. Voile dress.”

“OK, voile. What’s the difference?”


“So what happens after the kiss and the trembling?”

“I have to tell you? That’s sad. I thought you’d have experienced it at least once in the preceding millennia.”

“I’m interested in your characters, Lamont. Clearly they’ve been yearning.”

“Oh Dude. The really interesting trembling was back a thousand years ago. Of course, that time, I ran.”

“Were you an Indian, Lamont? An Anasazi? That would be so awesome to be an Anasazi and trade with the Aztecs for parrot feathers.”

“Seriously, Dude? That’s your reason?”

“Well, yeah. Imagine how it would be to trade with Aztecs.”

“I was a coyote, Dude. I just hightailed it out of there when the ground started shaking. I knew nothing good was coming.’

“What happened?”

“Turned out to be a volcano.”

“Did you see it erupt, Lamont?”

“Hell no. I was coyote. I didn’t look over my shoulder. I just got the hell out of there.”


Lamont and Dude are characters I came up with 3 years ago. They have the uncanny ability to remember many of their previous incarnations which gives them a unique perspective on life, the universe and everything.

4 thoughts on “Lamont and Dude Discuss Romance Novels

  1. I love how you have captured the tension and excitement in that beautiful moment of ‘before’. Before a kiss, before an eruption… The culmination of a buildup… then letting the readers imagination take it from there. Thank you for a great piece of writing, I enjoyed it!

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