Regrets, I Have a Few, and Here Is One, I Think I’ll Mention…

A big problem with life is that we don’t always recognize opportunity and we don’t know who we’re going to be in the future or what we’re going to care about. Sometimes I look back on my 20s (that decade of searching, blindness and obliviosity) and I see that things were set down in front of me like, “Here! Here it is! This is IT! You are gonna’ LOVE this if you stick with it! Oh my God! This is the Shining Star!” and I didn’t see them at all.

Because I didn’t ski much or well when I was 23, I didn’t think a career at Head Ski in marketing was up my alley at all! Seven years later, I lived to ski. I had finished grad school, couldn’t find a teaching job (teaching was the second “Here! Here it is! This is IT! You are gonna’ LOVE this if you stick with it! Oh my God! This is the Shining Star!”) and I was working as a paralegal in a law firm — the same law firm, BTW, that was founded by the grandfather of the man who is Trump’s choice for SCOTUS. Who knew? Every Friday night I went home, did art and Saturday morning I was up and out with friends heading west, turning left, heading up a winding mountain pass and BAM! Skiing.

It didn’t even occur to me until YEARS later when I was teaching Business Communication that I would have been very happy doing marketing for Head Ski, getting free skis and skiing all the time as part of my job. I might even have become good at the sport. I wouldn’t have had to go to grad school, either, which I hated. I had met Howard Head, we had a good impression of each other and I  had gotten a huge award and bonus for service to the company already after only two months of work. I was viewed as a “bright young thing.” It was the one place in my life where I worked in which pretty much everyone liked me. It was a great company, and I fit. But I had the idea that working in “bidness” was beneath my intellectuality, and I only allowed myself to work there a year…

I think sometimes that it would be great if life were more clear with those markers. It’s not easy for a young person to take the long view. How could it be when 30 is old?

P.S. This doesn’t mean I’m unhappy with the way my life turned out. As Goethe wrote, when we are young we stand at a wide crossroads and view all of the possibilities as equally belonging to us, but as we go through “life’s labyrinthine chaos course” ways become closed to us. Most people don’t know that Goethe dreamed of being a painter. ❤

5 thoughts on “Regrets, I Have a Few, and Here Is One, I Think I’ll Mention…

  1. You make me feel ashamed. Here I am in Switzerland for the last 50 years and have never ever stood on skis. I never even liked snow (until now because I can now watch it from the window and not go out).

  2. The review mirror of life is warped. It gives us all the perspective and depth that we lacked when we viewed it straight on, but no ability to go back and change our decisions. I think you need to turn the mirror around to face the future and see what you can change now that you might regret later. At least, that’s what my two cents are worth.

  3. We all have things we should have grabbed and didn’t. I have a few of my own and I have no idea why I didn’t except that I think I was too young, too scared, too wary of gift horses and unfamiliar mouths.

    The people that did grab them … interesting how that worked out. Garry latched right on to that offer. He wanted it, he got it, he ran with it. Yet still, he ended up here, with me. Whatever road we take, I think we end up where we are supposed to be. But maybe not. Who knows?

    • Yep. I always wanted big dogs and hardwood floors and I got ’em. I do know for sure that wherever we end up we end up! 🙂 Besides, I might have hurt myself worse skiing than I did and that was bad enough. Still…

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s