Lamont and Dude Ponder Shark Attacks

“What’s that, Dude?”

“Brochures. I’m replacing my board. I decided to check out all my options.”

“Why are you getting a new board?”

“Shark attack? Remember?”

“That was no shark attack. You crashed into the pilings at the pier.”

“I like to think it was a shark attack.”


“I don’t know. It makes me a romantic hero in my eyes.”

“Have you ever — I mean at any time in the last several thousand millennia — been attacked by a shark?”

“Not that I recall, but who knows?”

“I have. It’s not a romantic adventure, that much I can tell you.”

“So tell me.”

“I was a sea lion.”

“Love sea lions. Sometimes they hang with us when when we’re out there.”

“Sweet creatures in their way. Anyway, I’d cut a flipper on something sharp — I dunno’ what, coral, debris, whatever — and I was struggling to get to shore to have a look when BAM! First my back end, then the rest of me. And I knew every second what was happening. No, no, no, no, no. Shark attack? Not good.”


“Hmmmm? No, c’mon, Dude, you’re not going to say, ‘Oh, I remember now. That was me’.”

“Sometimes you eat the bear, sometimes the bear eats you, Lamont.”



Lamont and Dude are characters I came up with a couple of years ago. They have the uncanny ability to remember many of their past incarnations which gives them an unusual perspective on life, the universe, and everything.

7 thoughts on “Lamont and Dude Ponder Shark Attacks

  1. This kind of reminds me of a Wiley cartoon character. I’m on my phone so I can’t Google it to give a link. It’s the continuing saga of a man, Duncan, I think, and his dog. Duncan is the smart one of that duo and each segment story ends when Duncan dies doing something ill-advised.

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