Lamont and Dude Wish You All a Happy New Year

“You’re back!”

“Just like the Terminator.”

“Ha ha. I finished.”

“Finished what?”

“My list of resolutions.”

“And I suppose you’re going to read them to me?”

“Sure, unless you want to read them yourself.”

“Go ahead. I’m going to make some coffee.”

“One. I’m going to endeavor to take an active role in my own life. Two. I’m going to read more books. Easy because I just have to read one, right, Lamont?”


“Three. I’m going to the gym more often.”

“Dude, have you ever been to the gym?”

“No. I thought I’d drop by today and cross that one off.”


“Four, I’m going to be nicer to my friend Lamont and try not to chase him down on the Savannah next time he’s prey.”

“I thought we agreed you can’t make resolutions about future iterations.”

“Yeah, but I ran out of ideas there and I really don’t want to kill and eat you. You’re my bud, my bro, my bestie…”


“Five, I’m going to cook dinner at least once a week. Six, I’m going to quit smoking.”

“Dude, you don’t smoke.”

“All the easier to quit. You said resolutions set people up for failure. I get that and I wrote resolutions that won’t blast my self-esteem all to shit. Seven, I’ll pick up my socks from the floor.”

“You don’t wear socks, Dude. You only wear flip-flops.”

“Yeah, but as you said, we can’t foretell the future and maybe I WILL wear socks. This way I’ve resolved NOT to leave dirty socks lying around. Eight, I’ll keep my board waxed. Nine, I’ll stay in when there is a heavy rip-tide warning. And TEN, next year I’ll come up with ten resolutions.”

“Sounds good, Dude. Actually, that’s the best ten resolutions I’ve ever heard. Not only are they all possible, if you lose the list it won’t even matter.”

“Right? You know what I was thinking while you were out?”

“No clue.”

“That New Years song about ‘old acquaintances being forgot’.”

“Definitely not applicable here.”

“Happy New Year, Lamont.”

“Same to you, Dude.”


Lamont and Dude are characters I came up with a couple of years ago. They have the uncanny ability to recall many of their previous incarnations. This gives them a unique perspective on life, the universe and everything.

9 thoughts on “Lamont and Dude Wish You All a Happy New Year

  1. Wat a way to begin the New Year – those two are great. Not to forget that the scriptwriter is the best. Love them and look forward to more next year.

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