Lamont and Dude Resolve

“Ah Lamont, another year is upon us.”


“Have you made New Years Resolutions?”

“Are you insane? I’m several million years old. I KNOW life as anything in the universe is a chain of random causes and effects. How can I decide NOW how I’m going to respond to something I don’t even know about?”

“I mean, you know, exercise more, read more books, that kind of thing.”

“Why would I want to do that? Honestly, Dude, sometimes…”

“I’m reading this article here that says at least 90% of New Years Resolutions are broken but they still have the power to help an individual improve his/her life just because the person consciously thinks about changes they’d like to see.”

“Ah, it gives them an inkling that they, too, can be an active player in their own life?”


“That’s a good thing. Maybe that’s what they should resolve, ‘I will endeavor to take an active role in my own life’.”

“I’m writing that down.”

“You’re going to make that your resolution?”

“Why not? Now I need nine more.”


“How about, ‘I will avoid bears and tigers as long as I am a human, but I reserve the right to change my mind should I appear in a later incarnation as a bear or a tiger’. Don’t want to eliminate the ‘mate, spawn and die’ imperative, do we.”

“Dude, I don’t think you can make resolutions for future incarnations. They have to be for THIS incarnation.”

“That’s rather limiting. I could read more books. I pretty much don’t read any.”

“Why would you? You’re a classic example of ‘been there, done that’. What are you going to get from a book?”


“You’re going to resolve to entertain yourself more?”

“Yeah, I like that. ‘Read more books’. That’s two. I only need 8 more.”

“Good luck, Buddy. I’m going to take a walk. I’m hopeful you can get all that resolved.”


CAVEAT: Lamont and I do NOT believe in making New Years Resolutions. We think they’re self-defeating. Lamont tried expressing this to Dude, but Dude is Dude.

Lamont and Dude are characters I came up with a couple of years ago. They have the uncanny ability to remember many of their past incarnations which gives them an unusual perspective on life, the universe and everything.

14 thoughts on “Lamont and Dude Resolve

  1. There is nothing like a good laugh to ring out the old year. I just love those two guys, you should really write a book, a play, or a TV Show featuring them.
    In the meanwhile I will wish you and the dogs a very happy new year, may it be a healthy and a good one – Pat

    • Dusty, Mindy and Bear and I wish you and your family the same, Pat! Many happy excursions with your unique and psychedelic cane, many happy Tabby adventures and a beautiful garden. ❤ Martha

    • Uh, I don’t believe in making resolutions of any kind at any time. It’s just setting oneself up for failure for numerous reasons one of which is we cannot predict the future. A person can resolve to “get in shape” and, the first day, suffer a compound fracture that lays him up for months. It’s — for me — about action not a list of rules and resolutions that, if you don’t fulfill them, you feel even worse. But I’m a rebellious kind of person.

      • I think of my resolutions as ‘I now have -in print- given myself a map to follow. Using them, I get from destination 1 to destination 2. I don’t mind having them incomplete… or having them awaiting to be completed three years later.

      • That’s the key — having no particular investment in the outcome. I do that, not, maybe, at New Years, but when I see that I really want to change something. Then it’s a step-by-step thing a lot of the time. Happy New Year! 🙂

  2. Thank you for this and for all your support, Martha. May you and Dude and Lamont and all have a safe New Year’s Eve and a happy start to 2017. With much admiration, Mark

      • I love that you’ve characterised your alter egos in this way. In the unreleased novella I’ve written I didn’t make mine as personable. But perhaps that’s poor storytelling. (There’s a reason it’s unreleased – working progress haha)

      • Well, Lamont and Dude are some kind of scientific conundrum, especially as science ignores them. Lamont — the mountain, right? Dude — the beach. A pretty good summary of the geography of my life. 🙂

  3. I really want to play the ukulele. And any day now, I will start. ANY day. Now.

    It has been quite the year my friend. Like two years for the price of one. If I were selling years, I’d offer 2016 at a huge discount. Sorry, no warranty.

    I don’t think I CAN read more books. I think I’ve reached my maximum capacity, so either I need to entirely give up sleeping (I’m not far anyway), or read MUCH faster 🙂

    Happy New Year. Whatever else we can say about this past year — and I expect, the next one coming up? Not dull. Definitely eventful.

    • I’m really grateful to this year for very many things. It was a hard and strange year but I now I can’t think of any year about which I couldn’t say that. I’m glad we’ve gotten to know each other better. As for reading books? Not my favorite thing — though time was. Right now I’m reading Galen Rowell’s account of the 1975 attempt on K2. Someone has to read it. Happy New Year and may the inauguration be but a prelude to an impeachment. Give Garry a big hug from me and wish him Happy New Year, Also.

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