Lamont and Dude’s Microbial Nostalgia

“What’s wrong, Dude?”


“C’mon, you seem down in the dumps.”

“I’m sick.”


“Yeah. I just want to find a warm place and curl up in a ball and wait until it’s over.”

“Didn’t you get a flu shot?”

“Of course I got a flu shot.”

“You don’t have to snap at me, Dude. I’m just asking.”

“Sorry. I’m just a little moody from being sick.”

“What is it?”

“I dunno, but I wish it would go away.”

“Remember being a microbe?”

“That’s pretty hard to remember, Lamont. I mean, microbes are small and they don’t live long.”

“Powerful little things, though. I remember taking out a whole kindergarten class one year, and their parents. That was power, man. Real power.”

“They died?”

“No, Dude, but they all got sick like dominos falling over. There is always THAT teacher who puts kids in a circle.”

“Oh yeah. And has them exchange papers.”


“My microbe just wants me to sleep, Lamont. Do you think you can let me do that?”

“I thought I’d entertain you with cascading witticisms, but if you’d rather sleep…”

“I’d much rather sleep.”

“I’ll make you some tea.”

“Later, Lamont. When I wake up.”


Lamont and Dude are characters I came up with a couple of years ago. They are unique in that they remember many of their past incarnations. This gives them a unique perspective on life, the universe and everything.

10 thoughts on “Lamont and Dude’s Microbial Nostalgia

    • Dangerous activity. I hated it when I was a teacher and some sick kid would hand in a paper they’d just coughed and sneezed on. That’s how I got H1N1. I was so sick. Then I made a rule that I could send anyone home if they came to class sick and contagious. That really pissed off my students. They thought I had no right. I watched H1N1 move in a circle from girl A all the way around the class to — well — me. I also became a huge fan of turning in work online so I didn’t have to touch anything. 🙂

      • Right? I would have been happy as a student for my teacher to say, “Do not come to class sick. Attendance is not part of your grade. Just email me and we’ll work it out.” They were incensed. “But I’m already at school.” And I’m saying, “You shouldn’t be.” I’m so glad I’m out of there…

  1. I picked up a few things at school from the other kids, chicken pox, flu, but that was because we were together every day in the class. I never thought about the teachers collecting papers and getting infected.

    • I didn’t either until I watched this girl do an in-class writing as she sneezed, coughed and wiped her nose with the back of her hand. After that I was just grossed out a lot of the time.

    • Why is this holiday thing so damned LONG? Someone wished me Merry Christmas yesterday and I had to think twice about why they were doing that. Then he said, “Christmas? Next week?” and I thought “Man, is that STILL going on?” I like my tree, Christmas cards and buying presents. I could really just ignore the rest of it, getting together with friends and family, all the bally-hoo, is not fun for me at all. I’m going to be driving 3 hours to spend Christmas with people I care about but I’d really rather drive 3 hours on a weekend that’s NOT Christmas so we could just relax.

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