Lamont and Dude Discuss Health Care

Warning: Dark Humor Ahead


“Hey Lamont, what does it mean to be in a ‘vegetal state’?”

“The guy’s in Iowa.”


“It could be his salad days.”

“Lamont, come on. I really want to know.”

“I’ll look it up and tell you tomato.”

“I wish you’d help. I’ve bean trying to figure it out for hours. This story…”

“Dude, that’s a romance novel.”

“Yeah, well, anyway, the guy has been in a ‘vegetal state’ for several days. What does that MEAN?”

“It means he’s fortunate. Looks like he might get out of the book soon.”

“I don’t think so. He’s the main squeeze of the heroine.”

“I shoulda’ guessed. So he’s in a vegetal state?”


“Is he in a bed?”


“Does someone irrigate him regularly?”


“Well, Dude, if he doesn’t die andΒ doesn’t recover, they’ll harvest what they can.”


Lamont and Dude are characters I came up with a couple of years ago. They have the uncanny ability to remember many of their past incarnations. This gives them a unique perspective on life, the universe, and everything.

14 thoughts on “Lamont and Dude Discuss Health Care

    • Yay! I’ve been writing through these two guys’ voices for a couple of years so if you want to read more just search “Lamont and Dude” πŸ™‚

    • Oh no. I’m a lifelong punster. My dad and I argued all the time with my mom. We thought puns were the highest form of humor. She didn’t. I think it was because she just couldn’t keep up and felt left out. πŸ™‚

  1. I couldn’t make puns if my life depended on it. But I certainly do love them, especially when Dude and Lamont get into it. So that makes me the perfect audience….

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