Friends came to spend the weekend and we went to the wool festival in Taos. This meant driving through breathtaking landscapes to one of the most interesting towns I know. Every year the “wool people” (don’t know what else to call them) gather in Taos to sell their raw materials and their products. And there are some VERY raw materials in the shape of alpacas, sheep and goats.

In my daily life, I try not to be an asshole and I try not to hurt people, but we’re all human beings. I’ve learned over the years that we’re all two year olds if we’re not rested and we’re not fed and we’re pushed too far from normal by circumstances. It happened to me after the glorious day, and now I’m dealing with the fallout. I said hurtful things I didn’t mean to a precious friend out of frustration, exhaustion and anxiety about our dogs who’d been left in the house all day. I was immediately sorry and said so, but some people are more able than others to turn around and say, “I know. We’re both tired and I was pressuring you. Let’s forget it ever happened.”

My mom always said, when I fought with a friend or with my brother, “Mend the fence before bedtime.” I agree 100% with that. Otherwise the sad situation just gets sadder, the rift widens and reconciliation becomes more difficult… So now I’m hoping for a breakthrough in this sad impasse.


9 thoughts on “…weekend

  1. I expect all of us have done something like that in our lives; words jump out before we can rein them in, and then they’re out there for us to see and regret. You’ve done the right thing in apologizing, and hopefully your friend will see that you were tired and pushed beyond your resources. It can happen to anyone. ❤

    • Thank you, Sue. I hope he can, too. Part of my feeling now is that if he can’t forgive me and see the situation in a larger context, then maybe it’s not much of a friendship. 😦

  2. My husband and I realized that if we do not have food at lunch/dinnertime, then no holds barred, we will be snap at one another. And we know why! Now we pack snacks even if we just plan on going downtown. It is weird how little things bring out the ‘best ‘ in all of us. Sorry for this, Martha. I hope things work out OK. Pass the donuts…..

    • Yep. I think we’re all really animals. I used to tell my students that “audience awareness” includes understanding that some people are tired, some are hungry, some find the room too hot or cold, some have to pee and everyone is thinking about something else so keep it short, clear and friendly… but… We worked it out, thank goodness.

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