Lamont and Dude Reminisce over Good Times



“That’s the sound you made when you fell into the tarpits.”

“Shut up. It wasn’t either. Why are you always bringing that up, anyway? We had other adventures.”

“Yeah, but that one, I don’t know. It just has charisma.”


“Well, yeah. The sunlit savannah. A mighty mammoth. A puny sabre-toothed tiger. It has the David and Goliath magic.”

“OK, Dude, here’s the problem with your analogy. You were a TOP predator. I might have been exponentially larger, but you were Goliath, not me. It’s not just size, Dude. There was NOTHING I could do but run from you and your pals.”


“The dire wolves. Your hunting buddies. Don’t deny it. You were in it together.”

“Opportunistic bottom feeders, that’s what they were.”

“Oh c’mon. You tigers ate from their kills just as often as they ate from yours. I could see a lot from ten feet above the plain. We have other stories, Dude, or is it that you felt guilty about driving your OLD friend into the tarpits then eating me? Is that why you keep harping on that one? You’re trying to justify yourself?”

“No guilt. Amusement, maybe, but not guilt. What’s to feel guilty about in the old kill-or-be killed? And, it’s not like you never killed and ate me, remember. You had plenty of chances. How many times were you a fox? Tell me that.”

“Lots of times. I suppose it was some kind of karma thing. You were very poor at squirrel evasion stragedies. You should have stayed with your mom longer and learned more about what squirrels could do that foxes couldn’t. That’s what it boils down to. Developing a predator-excluding skill-set. You never really got it. With perfectly good high branches way out of my reach, you’d still run along the ground. Really, you deserved what you got.”

“I hated being a squirrel. Maybe it was despair. Maybe I saw you coming and thought, ‘There’s my friend Lamont. He’ll get me out of this.’ Who knows what I thought as a squirrel or even IF. Stupid, hoarding little rodentia.”

“You still resent the way they stole your acorns, don’t you. I don’t think you’ll ever get over that.”

“What other hope does a giant oak tree have, knowing you’re on your last hundred years or so? Only your acorns offer any promise for the future.”

“Seriously? You thought about that during the most peaceful, most serene, most beautiful of our joint incarnations? You thought about the future? Dude, I was just living in the moment. Enjoying the Druid worship, all that. It was a drag when the Romans came, but what can you do?”

“Always someone after world domination, isn’t there.”

“Fact of life, Dude. Fact of life.”


Lamont and Dude are characters I came up with a couple of years ago. They have the uncanny ability to remember most of their past incarnations which gives them a different perspective on life, the universe and everything. If you enjoyed this, you can read more of their adventures by typing Lamont or Dude into the search bar.

4 thoughts on “Lamont and Dude Reminisce over Good Times

  1. I am having problems keeping up with those two and their incarnations, they certainly had a fulfilled life (death?), Am looking forward to the first book, “how grandad poisoned himself with methane gas in the swamps”?

  2. I should think the tarpits made a kind of sucking gurgling sound. When I was a kid, I had tarpit nightmares. I read a book about them and had a mental images of me being (slowly) sucked down into the black, hot tar. Kind of like being in debt.

    • They are nasty, but very, very interesting. There’s a layer of water over the tar so they are a real trap. But…the way they are now is the result of “mining” for asphalt in the early 20th century. I think that means that in the “olden days” (Pleistocene) they must have been a lot more treacherous.

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