Drama Tic

“You could meet somebody.”

I scream internally. “Now that’s a scary thought,” I tell the mailman.

He laughs.

In one very brief moment I envision all the drama of a relationship. I know some people meet, fall in love, spend their lives with someone who cherishes them and cares for them and vice versa and at the end one of them must contend with life on their own for the first time. It’s bittersweet and romantic and beautiful and I admire it very much.

But it ain’t me, babe.

I don’t know if anything bears out my theory, but I think the home in which we grow up becomes our idea of a “normal” household and family and mine was very dramatic. I never liked the drama. My response was to get out of the way, but the creators of the drama were crafty, would often devise dramatic plots and then wait in ambush for me to return and pounce the moment I walked in the door.

I’ve observed myself as an adult, and I have seen that inside me is a “wait for the shoe to fall” mechanism. I can endure only so much smooth relations before I start feeling anxious that something will happen to disturb the peace. The longer things go well, the more uncomfortable I am. This is true with my friends, not just my significant others. I have managed to recognize it so I no longer create drama to relieve my anxiety and bring the shoe down.

Having seen this in myself I’ve seen it in others. I have a friend who will pick a fight to relieve his frustration with life in general. I now think it’s a pretty common stragedy.



9 thoughts on “Drama Tic

  1. I cried like a baby and still feel awful when I think of the dogs/cats I have lost. Nothing like that when my mother died. I get what you are saying.

  2. Drama was missing in my childhood life. There must have been some, a little came out later, but it was just sort of tucked away under a mental blanket. Of course, I could say I had a happy childhood, but something was missing somewhere and somehow and I think I have been searching for it since. It’s a funny feeling.

    • Yep. I had a very happy childhood. I did not have a happy adolescence. I know why, I get it, I feel sympathy for the perpetrators and know they probably had no choice given who they were. I’m sorry they’re all gone because, in spite of everything, I loved them very much.

  3. If I had had to vote for the two people least likely to wind up in an enduring relationship it would have been myself and my husband. Maybe we found the only other person on earth who COULD put up with either one of us. Destiny can be weird.

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