Lamont Rants about Diversity

“Don’t get me started.”

“What, Lamont?”

“Diverse. Good god I’m sick of that word. I remember some iteration back in the day when I LONGED to be a human. I thought, ‘Wow. Opposable thumbs. A giant brain. What would I DO with that!’ It never occurred to me that I’d be living with a bunch of OTHER humans and…”

“Uh-oh.”

“Here’s how they are. Are you ready for this? Everyone must define ‘diversity’ the same way. THAT kind of contradiction, my friend, is what’s so bizarre about human beings. I’m convinced that they’re just a giant collective amoeba or something. A unified organism of stupidity.”

“We’re in rare form today, aren’t we Lamont? Did you have your coffee?”

“I’m working on it.”

***

 

 

https://dailypost.wordpress.com/prompts/diverse/

20 thoughts on “Lamont Rants about Diversity

      • I don’t think anybody knows what diversity means. Some people stand over a hole to poop. They then stand on the toilet seat. Am I to overlook this as a cultural diversity? Or do I find the guy who’s standing on the toilet seat and teach him how not to do that by kicking him in the nuts? I’m confused.

      • I don’t know. I think functionally it means white people are bad and everyone else is good. It’s reverse racism, or so it appeared to me after 35 years teaching in multicultural settings. No one even knows what “white” means or is other than it’s “the man.” When I taught a difficult book in a class, I had black kids complaining that I was teaching them “white” literature with “white words” in it. I was raised to take each person as he or she comes and ignore skin color. That’s the backstory of Lamont’s diatribe here.

      • I did get it. If I could’ve picked and chose what I wanted to study, I’d be an idiot right now. I assume you taught English literature that had English words in it. And that the course was clearly labeled “English Lit.”

      • I taught straight up literature twice. The first time (2001, summer) was great. The second time (2015 summer) was the darkest time of my teaching career. I had students in the class who didn’t believe me when I told them that Greek is spoken in Greece TODAY. “No it isn’t. Greek is a dead language.” The little fucker GOOGLED it to see if I was LYING. that was the end of my rope — if you have contempt for the people you teach you have no right to be in a classroom.

      • Ha ha ha. I had young guys on my crew that didn’t know what a plumb bob was, or how to read a tape measure.
        “What you got?”
        “Three and two of those little marks.”
        ” . . . Right on.”

      • Oh man — once I averaged a kid’s grade on paper with a pencil. He said, “What IS that?”
        I said, “That’s long division.”
        “I’ve never seen it. How do you know it’s right?”
        “Check it with your calculator if you want.”
        “What do the numbers mean?”
        “An A is 4 points. A B is 3 and so on.”
        “Who made that up?”
        True story…

      • I’d get blueprints that had measurements like 4 4/8″ and 5′ 6 2/8″. LOL Because we were fabricating to the eighth of an inch. LOL Blueprints that came from GA Tech. LOL

      • It’s quite sad, really. I could work a slide rule and read micrometers when I was twelve. I ran a lathe at a machine shop the summer I turned twelve. No wonder everything is made in China now.

      • I console myself with the knowledge that I’ll be dead relatively soon. I won’t have to live long in “their” world. I read an article yesterday about why Hillary Clinton should be indicted re: the emails. The guy had done great research and had presented a persuasive (if rambling and unfocused) argument, but he said “Hillary Clinton is 60 years old. Would you expect your grandmother to be able to deal with two phones?” The point was that she didn’t use the State Department server because it would have required her to carry two Blackberries. I got really steamed. Her age has nothing to do with it. Her position as Secretary of State had everything to do with it and the (punk) kid who tossed out this assessment? He had no idea what he had said.

      • Most of the rhetoric from both sides has little to do with fact, mostly designed to drive a point, mixed with a lot of little thought-out filler. Last summer, I ran into another fisherman on the stream and asked him if he was catching any. He whipped out his cell and started showing me pictures of the fish he’d caught. I started to tell him that I’d just landed a 24″ cutt, but I realized that I hadn’t taken a picture of it with my phone and, therefore, had no proof. So I said nothing. It hadn’t occurred to me to take a picture.

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