No Guilt for Lamont and Dude

“Dude?”
“Right?”
“Seriously, I mean guilt over WHAT??? Sure being a serial killer, but a serial killer isn’t going to feel remorse. That guy — or gal — is driven by other forces. So, Dude, guilty pleasures?”
“Why guilt?”
“I dunno. It’s a shadow on the soul, that’s what that is. I know people who feel guilty for eating ice cream.”
“Yeah, those people are a mystery to me.”
“I just don’t like ice cream.”
“Maybe if you did, you’d understand. Maybe ice cream has rights and feelings you don’t even know about. Could be.”
“No, Dude. Ice cream is just a bovine by-product, milk and sugar, flavoring and low temperatures. It’s not a sentient being.”
“Since when have you felt guilty about chowing down on a sentient being?”
“Some human iterations have involved that. I never ate you, did I, Dude? Back in our Borneo days?”
“I was never in Borneo.”
“Who WAS that?”
“Don’t know, Lamont. Wait, maybe you did. I was a Komodo dragon once. I liked it. It reminded me of the golden age of dinosaurs. Maybe you ate me then.”
“Research has discovered that Komodo dragons ARE dinosaurs, isn’t that cool?”
“Lamont, do you really think being a dinosaur was the best of times? In my memory it was the worst of times.”
“No, not the best of times, but it was fun — and simple. You know very well that I was happiest as an ancient oak tree on the Salisbury Plain. Weren’t you?”
“Oh those goofy Druids! Wait, Lamont, didn’t THEY eat sentient beings?
“Well, yeah. How else would they participate in the body and the blood, gaining the power of — and over — their enemies?”
“Did they feel guilty about this?”
“I don’t think it was a ‘pleasure’ for them. It was more like a necessary evil.”
“You don’t think there was just one itsy-bitsy Druid who maybe LIKED it?”
“Could’ve been. But…”
“Then it would have been a guilty pleasure.”
“Dude, if he liked it he’d be like a serial killer, feeling no remorse.”
“So what’s up with this ‘guilty pleasure’ thing?”
“Oh humans like to feel they’re getting away with something. I think that’s it. They want others to have a high opinion of them. It’s really about caring so much what others think of you that the simple act of doing something you want to do — because you want to do it — makes you feel guilty. Like playing video games when you’re 50. You might think you’re too old for that and should do something else with your free time. But, you still like it, so you play anyway even though you think if someone found out they wouldn’t respect you as much.”
“What happened to ‘Halo’ on my Playstation, Lamont?”
“It crashed.”
“Damn.”

——

P.S. My video game is SimCity which I sometimes play and inevitably dump because it limits my options and wants me to go where IT wants to go. I refuse to be controlled by an algorithm. I don’t feel guilty about it. My favorite game — that I only got to play a short time — involved building Roman towns.

4 thoughts on “No Guilt for Lamont and Dude

    • I was playing for a while this fall — it was relaxing and it helped me think. But yeah, I got tired of it trying to make me do stuff I didn’t want to do in order for my cities to survive. Too much like real life at that point. I have played it off and on since it came out — I played it on my Amiga, then on my little MacClassic and earlier laptops — then there was no Mac version for a long time, but a couple of months ago I found it. It had bugs, but ran pretty well. I got it here: http://www.ea.com/pc-download/simcity

  1. I never did Sim City just had a look in, was more into Wizzball when my son was not using his Amiga. And Tabby stop laughing, it is a serious thing that Lamont and Dude were discussing, although I must say I had to have a chuckle at this one. “What did you say Tabby? Komodo dragons are too chewy, humans would be more tender.” I think I will close this conversation. No felines are not serial killers, it is all a question of keeping the mouse population under control.

    • Tabby, I conferred with Lamont and it’s all right. Mice are prey. If you ate other cats, then that might be a problem, but likely not. The jury is out about whether cats are sentient beings though, as divinities, cats can do whatever they want. But, as high-level predators, you’re probably in no danger — except from Siberian huskies. In my time as a mastodon I worried a lot about sabre toothed tigers like Dude.

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