When was the last time you felt truly rejuvenated and energized? What made you feel that way?

Actually, this morning. I’ve had a stupid burden hanging over my head and this morning it was lifted leaving me feeling rejuvenated and free. What is the burden? Or was?

The artist’s co-op.

Sometimes I think the biggest problem in the world is other people πŸ˜‰ Not really, but it will probably always amaze me that people can make problems out of no problems, act without empathy or awareness, strive for power even in situations in which there is no real power to be had. Still, it happens.

I’m also always amazed when I don’t like someone. With most of the people I meet I’m usually interested and curious about them and willing to like them. I’m flumoxed when the dislike is something stronger; true antipathy. There are a rare few who raise the hackles on my back, send my radar into crisis mode, appear with red flags waving all around them.

While I love — and agree with — the Dalai Lama’s statement, “In the practice of tolerance, one’s enemy is the best teacher,” I don’t get is why we need to have or be anyone’s enemy and then, if we are, what exactly IS tolerance? I think that the best way to deal with one’s enemy is to get out of the way, if that’s possible.

In any case, I’ve severed ties with the co-op and I feel a lot better about life as a result. I’ll shop there and enjoy the company of the great people I’ve met, but I don’t have any interest in politics or ego issues or anything like that any more. I won’t play.

Besides the evil and/or obtuse person (who has ridden roughshod over the feelings and efforts of others), I’m not sure I want to be “an artist.” I do want to make art. I want to paint and I want to write, but the whole thing of doing it for some external reason transforms the whole activity into something vaguely icky and dishonest. I think, at this point in my life, I’ve had and been all the vaguely icky and dishonest I can bear.


12 thoughts on “Oggi…

  1. I think there is a point where tolerance becomes abusive and then, for sure, it is time to go. I don’t know that you need the co-op to make art, Martha. Maybe they helped you sell it but you knew what you wanted to do. I am just glad you feel the burden lifted. That has got to be a wonderful thing.

    • I agree — I used to thinking not liking something wasn’t enough, that it was too subjective and unfair but now I think it’s the BEST reason not to do something or not to hang around with someone.

  2. It seems there are always people out to spoil what you enjoy, for their own selfish ego. I have experienced it once here and that was enough, but I cannot and will not leave because of one bad egg. there are still many good eggs here. I can understand your problem and you made the right decision.

  3. Do your thing, and don’t do anything that makes you unhappy. I always try to do the things that make me feel good about myself and stay away from the things or people who give off the negative vibes. If you feel liberated, you did the right thing.

  4. “L’Enfer, C’est les Autres” is one of my favorite little things to say to myself in the moments when I feel like that. Sartre seems to have been a bit of a jerk, but his sentiment succinctly encapsulates a truth that others sometimes make life miserable for absolutely no good reason than their own unexamined pettiness. That’s the beauty of not having to struggle in soul-killing workplace anymore – you get to be involved or not involved on your own terms:0)).

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