Not My Thing

Daily Prompt Green-Eyed Monster Tell us about the last time you were really, truly jealous of someone. Did you act on it? Did it hurt your relationship? 

Envy or jealousy? There is a difference. I’ve felt envy often. When that shows up I look at it and try to figure out why, as in the case of the New Age maker of bad art at the co-op. I envied her that her work sold and mine hadn’t. I wouldn’t want to be her or paint like her. I thought about that, and I saw I could paint that kind of thing, too, but I didn’t want to. End of story.

I haven’t felt jealousy in a long long long time. It’s human nature, but it’s a trait I didn’t like much, and when I saw the power with which it overcame much of my mom’s personality, I wanted nothing to do with it.

My mom was jealous of the relationship I had with my dad. To write about it here would put a dark cast on a hopeful Saturday so I won’t. Just suffice it to say one of the last things she said to me was, “I slept with your father; you didn’t.”

Good god.

7 thoughts on “Not My Thing

  1. Isn’t jealously silly, ridiculous, but it exists unfortunately. Perhaps there was an existence of jealous in the younger years, but with age comes wisdom, at least it is supposed to.Oh yes, I am jealous of the new computers with SSD drives, but I am saving up 🙂 (just a cyber golden oldie dream)

    • Jealousy is just evil — I don’t know if I’m wiser, but I do avoid situations in which that emotion is likely to hit me and when I see it operating in others, I’m outta’ there!

  2. I often feel much the same about writing. You spend months agonising over every word and comma, checking you have all the ingredients necessary for a story, and leaving out the unnecessary. And then someone wins the competition with what to me is a very badly written, unintelligible piece, thrown together ten minutes before the deadline. Ugh!

  3. Sorry, meant to add that I’m not so sure the feeling is jealousy as much as wanting to write or paint as well as we can, and knowing a little praise or acknowledgement of our efforts helps us along the way. Not getting than can be discouraging.

    • Absolutely. But I’ve learned (and, luckily, I had little or no support from anyone for my writing or painting growing up and into adulthood) to do the best I can for the sake of the work itself. I honestly feel I owe IT something.

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