Proud of ME? How dare you!!!

Daily Prompt Proud When was the last time someone told you they were proud of you?

“I’m proud of you, Lamont.”

“Thanks, Dude.”

People telling me they’re proud of me is always a little odd. Sometimes it comes across as icky and condescending. Not long ago my Aunt Madelyn told me that I’d “…done all right in spite of everything.” I did not know how to take that. It was weird. Sure, I’ve had a few major obstacles in my life, but so what? Who hasn’t? And what’s more, she doesn’t know the HALF of it — the good, the bad or the ugly. But… I took it as it was meant and accepted her odd “I’m proud of you” graciously. I know her kids would KILL to have her say that to them.

A couple of my artist friends “said” this to me in the last week when the review of Martin of Gfenn was published by the Historical Novel Society. That meant a lot since they are also up against an artist’s biggest wall; discouragement. Just as with writing novels, 90 million people are coming out as artists — way more than the world needs — and the competition is fierce, the work is lonely and often difficult. One of my painter friends said, “Way to persevere!” I liked that because I know she KNOWS.

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8 thoughts on “Proud of ME? How dare you!!!

  1. I have a problem talking about people being proud of me and me being proud of them. Something I like to keep to myself and not talk about. Just being funny me I suppose.

    • I’m the same way. I’d much rather show and be shown respect. I often feel insulted when someone says, “I’m proud of you.” It depends, of course, but it’s usually creepy.

  2. Nice to know that I’m not the only one who has trouble accepting compliments … if they are really compliment. The only ones I’m pretty sure are really well meant come from other writers and my husband. The rest? I always wonder what they are REALLY saying.

    • I don’t mind compliments like, “You look nice” but the “I’m proud of you” one always makes me wonder, “What did you expect?” and “Who are you to judge me?” I think it’s a generational thing. We’re living with people today who got ribbons for just showing up at the race, who grew up seeking affirmation and validation from others. Very different mentality, but I guess we raised them!

  3. Your writer friend nailed it with the perseverance observation. How true. When I think of my pride in another it is always associated with them having pushed through regardless of the odds. Not because of their achievements, although often that can be the mounting glory for them, but because they hung in there and kept getting up and having another go.

    • Yep — that’s also when I’m proud of myself. I think pride in oneself is the opposite of shame in that sense. I feel a lot of pride for having managed to retire and move and hold my act together. That was hard for me and I’m proud I didn’t implode or give up.

  4. Pride is a word with connotations, ‘pride comes before a fall’, for example. I prefer to be appreciated. But pride in oneself is another matter. It is good to acknowledge ones own goals and be pleased with oneself when we reach them. 🙂

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