Couple of WHAT?

Daily Prompt: Unexpected Guests You walk into your home to find a couple you don’t know sitting in your living room, eating a slice of cake. Tell us what happens next.

“AGAIN???? Two days ago my ancestor showed up, the next day or so an alien, now a couple I don’t know.”
“A tad redundant, innit?”
“Oh, it’s you. Still affecting that whole Estates accent?”
“It’s kind of rusty. We finished ‘Spooks’ and there h’ant been any more language lessons.”
“True.”
“So what’s up today?”
“School then home again to more remodeling noise and stressed dogs.”
“Party on, Wayne!”
“Yeah. One thing about remodeling your house so you can move is that living in a house that’s being remodeled is so unpleasant you start to WANT to move.”
“Don’t you?”
“I’m getting there.”
“I bet.”
“Yeah.”
“So, what about this couple?”
“Couple of WHAT?”
“Shows up at your house, eating a slice of cake.”
“I hope they offer me some. But the fact that they are eating A slice doesn’t bode well.”
“No. I guess not.”
“They’ll probably be wanting coffee.”
“That’s possible. If they’re American, your coffee will drive them away. 😉 Why don’t you just play this out.”
“Not into it. I’m thinking about relationships. Specifically my relationship with my handyman. It’s weird how a person in your space for extended periods of time turns into a relationship. I don’t like it and probably this is the end of this phase of the moving out process.”
“What don’t you like?”
“A lot of things, some of them are me. Mostly I don’t like his style of working. I think a workman should look at a job, give a bid, a reasonable estimate for the time it will take — knowing, of course, that as this is an old and rather funky house on which a lot of unskilled people have worked everything could take longer — and a price.”
“That’s what most people do.”
“He doesn’t. Suddenly I’m finding myself in my house with four dogs instead of two because I’m dog sitting while my friend is in Europe and this guy. And I don’t even know how much it’s going to end up costing me only that he’s going on vacation Wednesday and needs money for the trip. I shouldn’t even be writing this. I should be clearing off the kitchen counters, but I’m not. I’m seeing the same kind of passive-aggressive bullshit I pull at the end of relationships. I’m not passive-aggressive by nature, but as soon as I feel someone’s pushing me or controlling me, I don’t budge. Anyway, I’ll probably have been to school and back before he even shows up.”
“You have to tell him this, not WordPress.”
“Yeah. I’m going to, but not until he’s finished with the kitchen. I don’t want to risk it not being finished. I’m just not going to hire him back.”
“Sounds like a stragedy.”
“Ha ha. I just want it OVER, but by Wednesday, it will be.”
“Now can you write about this couple who are sitting in your living room eating a piece of cake?”
“Maybe it’s a glimpse into the future. Maybe my realtor has an open house and in order to entice people out here to the back of beyond, she puts out Sara Lee. Nobody doesn’t like Sara Lee. Maybe they just made an offer and there’s only one piece of Sara Lee coffee cake left.”
“Now you’re on it. Yeah, go with it baby, go with it.”
“Go WHERE????”
“What do you do? That’s the rest of the prompt.”
“I see them, I look at my realtor, I look at them and they say, ‘We love your house. We want to live here’. I hold myself back from saying, ‘Have you had experience living in the country? It’s not like other places,’ because that’s exactly what WON’T sell the house, right?”
“Maybe they have. You hadn’t but it worked out for you.”
“Yes and no. Just to be here I put up with a lot.”
“So might they, anyway, if they buy it, it’s not your problem if it works out for them or not. The people you bought it from? It didn’t work out for them so they sold it to you. Remember what your plumber said when you first moved in and got a new water heater? ‘Most people stay two years’.”
“I thought he was challenging me.”
“It’s possible. You know how old-timers — and men — can be with a single woman.”
“Yeah. Well here I am, 11 years later, and it’s home and I may be about to sell it. Ironic.”
“Innit.”

http://dailypost.wordpress.com/dp_prompt/unexpected-guests/

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